Reflections on Lived Experiences & the American Dream
on differences in lived realities, the American dream, and more.
My parents are pushing 65 years old.
They both work full-time, hourly-rate, blue-collar jobs.
My dad works in grocery stores. Plus, his work as a pastor. These days he exclusively works with kids in Juvenile prisons. Trying to make a difference in their lives. He’s worked 80+ hours doing manual labor for virtually my whole life.
My mother used to be a bank teller but now works for a local government housing authority.
Last weekend, dad told me he might pick up another job soon because of how expensive cost of living is right now. He's getting older. Manual work is harder on him than it used to be.
Mom, Dad, & working-class America
Collectively my mother and father have never made more than they do today in 2024. And yet they are struggling financially almost as much as when I was little.
When we ate white bread and peanut butter 3 meals a day for 6 months because my dad got laid off. (too proud for food stamps)
When we lived in trailer parks.
Or had to live with my grandmother for a few years (3 year old me thought living with Grandma was dope though).
My dad's unsure if they'll ever retire.
He’s worried about paying to fix their leaky roof. Any big medical expense could end their dreams of ever retiring.
Inflation is killing them. It never seems to get easier for them or people like them.
Every time they claw their way towards middle-class stability, something drags them back down.
My entire childhood was that. My parents striving for the middle-class, house with the white-picket-fence, American dream. Every time we thought we were there, the forces of the world seemed to pull us back down.
Our lived realities are not the same
I don't care what your political beliefs are. Or who you voted for.
But know that a lot of Americans have been left behind and feel unseen by the leaders of our country.
Know that not everyone can live in a reality where they debate luxury beliefs over $50-100 / meal brunch with their friends from their Ivy league schools in West Village or UWS.
Know that not everyone's lived reality is yours.
Know that some people are just trying to make it and take care of those they love and it's not getting easier for them.
A lot of folks are just looking for hope and help wherever they can get it.
More us vs them doesn't solve anything and helps no one.
Calling the other side deplorable doesn't help.
Trying to simplify cultural and political debate into narratives on race, sexism, fascism, or whatever else doesn’t either.
Go spend time in rural Ohio or Georgia or North Carolina or wherever — and I bet you'll find a bunch of Americans that aren't the awful human beings you think they are.
Most are the kind of people that will stop on the side of the road to help you change your flat tire and ask for nothing in return.
If you work in tech, finance, most white collar jobs, went to a decent college, can afford vacation, have a 401k, have savings, are not living paycheck to paycheck, etc. — you're lived reality is very different than the majority of people in our country.
On the American dream
My mother immigrated here when she was 19. Trying to find a better life after The Troubles in Northern Ireland.
My dad’s family has been here for generations. Mostly working class people from Ohio to Tennessee. Together, they lectured me last Saturday about the importance of voting even if I voted against their preferred candidate.
My friend Rohit immigrated here from India for College. He’s gone on to do YC, build and sell a fintech company, and more. He’s just getting started too.
My friend Eric and his brother Luke grew up in rural PA. In a religious community similarish to mine. Eric’s since become a pilot, worked in politics, started a company, and helped Pirate Wires transform from Substack newsletter to real media brand. Luke works in startups too, now helping scale Traba (one of my favorite startups in tech rn).
My friend Hunter grew up in Long Island. His parents were working-class people too. His dad finally achieved financial freedom by investing his savings in the stock market. Hunter went to a great school, started a company, and is now on his second company — helping kids across America have better school lunches.
My friend Kyla grew up in rural Kentucky, went to state school, and worked her way from meager beginnings to being a respected teacher, economist, and best-selling author.
My friend Todd came here from South Korea because his country wouldn’t let him marry the person he loves. He’s built a life for himself working in tech in NYC. Now he’s on a mission to help the US government fight financial crime.
My friend Regina’s parents came here with nothing. She grew up knowing immense financial and personal struggle. At one point she was homeless. She went on to build and sell a small business. Then taught herself to code. Then built a successful career in tech.
I’ve written before about how my girlfriend’s family came here from China with nothing.
I could keep going. I have dozens more examples like the ones above.
These people are the American dream.
What the American dream means to me
On a purely personal note.
There is no motivation on this earth like a chip on your shoulder that doesn't die and being on a mission for people that aren't just you. A mission that is greater than yourself.
Our country was built by people on a mission. Immigrants that came here for a better life. To build something for themselves, for their families. To go on an adventure. To take risks. To be great.
The opportunity to change the trajectory of yourself and your family is the American fucking dream.
The opportunity to go for it, to be who you want, to love who you want, to just do shit — all that is the American dream.
Happy building my friends. Happy striving for more than you were born with.
God bless you. God bless America. 🇺🇸 🫡
The above is adapted from a Twitter / X post I wrote on Friday. Notes and reflections from one man’s lived experiences and pov. Nothing more. Nothing less.